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To be tested

I often wondered what my school life would have been like without tests or quizzes or exams or finals. For a long while I was convinced that I would be doing so much better, that if I had the choice, I would choose to never be tested. But the last few years have taught me otherwise. It is only when I entered cegep that I realized, high school almost taught me nothing. I walked into Vanier College a fresh and perfectly round piece of clay. I left it molded, shaped and absolutely deformed. Again, I entered Concordia University completely naïve, only to stumble into reality all over again. I know this process will repeat itself as soon as I graduate and with every different stage of life. The feeling of drowning and barely surviving, yet pushing through every time, because that’s what you are, a resilient persevering human being. One that was created to adapt, overcome and dominate. The survival of the fittest. So I have been molded, into what? Into understanding beyond what the equations, formulas and theorems I am tested on in school. Between the lines of every exam paper, I am taught what I have been doing right or doing wrong. Have I really been up to date on my info? Have I been slacking and unaware? Have I set my priorities properly? They are like wake up calls before the big test, the one that really matters. The one that closes doors and opens others. The one that paves your path and shows you the next step. I notice that with God it is not very different. He speaks to me through every test, every challenge. He tells me: do this better, change this, choose that, look there, beware of this, you are capable of more, you have lost focus, rethink your purpose. Sometimes tests don’t tell you what to do better. Sometimes they show you what you can and cannot do. Sometimes they frame your aptitudes for you so that you are able to choose the right way. You are a reflection of the choices you made, the challenges you overcame, the tests you failed or passed. Without them, we would all look the same. Dull and untouched by the beautiful explosion of colors life has to throw at us. I want to be a masterpiece not an empty canvas. So, in the end, I guess I will choose to be tested.

Reflections

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Salsabil Zayed View All →

www.mycrimsongrace.com

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